


alléchant

by terrified



Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M, Original Character(s), Other, one shots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-30
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-04-04 02:15:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14009967
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/terrified/pseuds/terrified
Summary: one shots of my oc's.[i know it's in lowercase, it's intended. improper? yes. lazy enough not to change that setting off in drive? also yes.]all™ characters™ are™ my™ intellectual™ property™





	1. prunus serotina

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a filler of colby. i don't know what else to say really.  
> colby  
> Pub. | 02:11 | 30/3/2018

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today wasn't good. i'm sorry it's short.
> 
> i guess it was inspired by a poem called a.w from mitch welling of flatsound. not based off of, but they just hit personal and put me into a mood. it'll be in the beginning before the tilde sign.
> 
> for her.

maybe i was asking too much  
imagining a future, or reality  
where you thought of me  
as much as i think of you  
because at this point  
i would die for the reassurance  
that you’re thinking of me at all.

~

it was near dark now. soft bumps echoing off of the walls becoming less and less with the night pressing on and the sand around him no longer created a mirage with their radiating heat. 

colby splayed out on a large rock in the sand, quite like a reptile or a lion would. he had finally started to wear off from the afternoon high. the desert air no longer feeling quite as sharp, the sand coming back to it’s dulled red and oranges without twisting around on itself, and his stomach no longer clenching with nausea. sure, he had more tabs but they were further inside the camp and they were also probably stolen by now. nothing was personal here. if he was honest, he didn’t really mind. nothing was personal on the hitchhike down either.

he flipped over onto his side, reaching an inch from puke that at this point, he couldn’t tell you if it was his or not. it kinda littered the area now. a day in and you were lucky if you didn’t step in anything. from drunkards and alike to those who’ve only had junk to eat since they’ve gotten here.

it was a question to himself as to why he was here. he even slightly disliked getting fucked up like he was in the heat of the day. it left him with dread and anxiety clenching at his throat afterwards. 

colby shifted up, getting to his feet and steadying himself with the higher rocks around. walking around, he nearly tripped on stretched legs and clustered tents. although many had gone for the show, a few remained around campfires that crackled with glowing charcoal.

he reached the small site against the side of the mesa and looked at ‘his’ tent. colby owned nothing about the tent besides the backpack inside but someone in that bus or van or whatever it could be considered said that he could use it.

the zipper door was open and sure enough, someone rest inside. colby sighed, pulling his rucksack from the interior and closed the flap back over. 

on the dark wall, he pulled in on himself with his knees and grabbed his phone from the side pocket. it was a surprise to him his father still paid the bill after all this time. colby cursed at himself, wishing he had never left home in the first place. he was stuck here in the middle of a fucking desert with people he didn’t know and stealing for practically everything. homesickness stabbed at him and he just wanted to go back north. 

opening his contacts, he noticed that despite the new phone many of them remained from his old one. they mocked him. the LED digits glittered with anticipation of him to press one. he was tempted to call his dad. whisper and whimper about how he hated being alone again to his old man. he was tempted to call her even though she had fallen out of love with him. he wanted comfort but every name and number logged into his phone brought him deeper and deeper into his past of rejection and biphobic associations. 

closing his phone, he threw it back into his pack. 

he was tired. everything felt like a chore anymore.


	2. carya cordiformis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> some angst about friends with benefits but i guess it ends in fluff?  
> colby & beckett  
> Pub. | 18:49 | 28/3/2018

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i jump around a lot with these two and their story and i'm really sorry about that.  
> but i haven't posted in a while and yeah  
> it's shit and cheesy as mac but hey i've come to terms with that
> 
> enjoy??  
> ~
> 
> for her.

~

it was always fun exploring the night with beckett by his side after letting drink soak into his liver. friends, friends with benefits, roommates that hated each other and had many complaints and cops show when it really was just them screaming over milk. all of them kinda fit with the two.

tonight wasn’t one of those messy nights though. they had both gone out in dusk and had smoked together in the fading twilight. a peace treaty proposed mainly just to get beckett out of the house and out of his mess and anger. colby hated when beckett hit low points like that. it made everything seem bleak.

colby sat back, ignoring the moist mud tempting to stick to his white shirt and picked up the wasting cigarette perched on the concrete barrier. his short legs dangled from the side and scraped the raw and dry skin. drought season was the best for these nights.

“colby,” beckett paused, his hand snuffing out what was left of his own cigarette and flicking it to the side, “what are we? really.” he turned over on his side and looked at the man who had since closed his eyes puffing light smoke out between the orange filter.

colby lifted up and took it out of his mouth, tossing it into the water, “i mean, what do you think we are?”

“i don’t know. i mean, you can see it yeah? it isn’t just fucking anymore for rent.” the other laughed briefly, “is it?”

“no, no i get what you’re saying. it depends i guess yeah?” colby asked, pulling up his head to the clouds above.

beckett snorted, eyes narrowing, “on what?” he was already becoming frustrated and doubtful. it was stupid for him to go out.

“it depends on what you feel. you know how i stand on this unless you’re actually blind.” he picked at his tanned arm showing countless freckles. that was another thing colby hated. beckett was absolutely fucking dense to any affection. but he couldn’t ever figure if beckett was doing it on purpose or not. 

“i could be.” beckett joked, shaking his head and having a couple of his hair strands fall from his bun down, “no. i see it. i just don’t know colby. do you even plan on staying here long? or do you plan on running away from your home again?” his smile disappeared and was replaced with a face of grimace. he didn’t show it much besides now, but he actually liked having colby around. and it wasn’t just because of the occasional pot and how colby was apparently a human dishwasher.

colby sat up fully, bringing his legs up from the edge and turned over to beckett, “you think i’m that heartless. a year now and you still haven’t figured out a single thing.” he spat back, anger flooding his chest red.

“no, it’s just because i see you doing it again.” beckett raised his pitch and volume in response, eyebrows twisting in on his bridge and wrinkling his face. his eyes felt heavy but he still pushed, hands gripping at the grass, “going to pack your bags now huh?” he remarked snidely, aiming to hurt the now walking away man. 

“oh shut up for once will you?” colby turned around, pointing at beckett as he stopped in his tracks, “i’m beckett i can’t stand being alone yet i push everyone away because i’m an ass.” he mocked, bringing his hands up around his temple and about his hair.

beckett bit inside his cheek and then his lip before going back to the barrier for his shirt that hung off of the edge. colby then lowered his hands slightly to put one on his hip and another on his eye. 

“shit, sorry.” colby stated flatly, breathing in hard before letting go of his face. his head and body felt heavy from the sudden loss of his anger. he walked back over, hovering his hand right behind beckett as the other was throwing on their shirt. their pudgy stomach pushing out against the strained fabric. 

“please just fuck off.” his accent starting to kick in as he pulled out the crushed packet of cigs from his back pocket. his lighter bulged out from the side and began to rip apart the seams. colby grabbed his hand lightly, only for beckett to pull it away, “have you ever taken fuck off for what it actually means?” 

colby tried again, succeeding, “no i haven’t and i’m not really willing to learn right now if you can’t see.” beckett’s thumb pried under the flap of his pack but remained motionless. his eyes dug within colby’s as he twisted around to face him.

“why are you like this?” beckett questioned with almost a whisper-like tone, tilting and shaking his head. “why do you go off the deep end one second and then next act like you didn’t explode?” he paused, “look, i’m sorry for what i said but-”

“beckett.”

beckett held up his finger beside the cigs and flexed his held wrist, “let me finish okay?” his face hardened and he ground down his jaw, “you’re adventurous, it’s in your eyes and on your scars. it’s blatant you want to go again. you don’t sit down long enough anywhere to know anyone.”

colby let go and moved up, grabbing beckett’s bearded jaw under his ear, “as i said before, you still haven’t learned a single thing have you? beckett, if i wanted to leave i would have months ago. you dolt.”

“but, you’ve been distant again. shit this is the most we’ve talked in two weeks.” beckett commented, pocketing his packet and leaving his hand hanging.

“you’ve been sitting in your room and chain smoking like a train and moping. i wanted to let you come out when you wanted to.” colby sighed, moving slightly closer with a shift of his weight, “if you want to know the truth beckett, i like you. i’ve tried to tell you but the only time i really get to spend with you is when we eat a meal or when we’re fucking.” he smiled and laughed, “sorry to put it blunt.”

beckett’s face wrinkled with a slight smile too, before rubbing his bridge, “lord. you’re telling the truth yeah?” he opened his eyes and set his right wrist against colby’s shoulder.

colby nodded, “promise.” his fingers shifted around and tangled with the stray hairs near the point of beckett’s head, bringing himself up an inch and connecting the two of them. unlike the rest of their previous kisses that were spent shoving each other around while full of lust; this was like a feather, light on their lips and heartful. an unwritten and unspoken seal between the two.  
beckett pulled away after a couple seconds, eyes opening back again soft and fluid, “hey colby, unless that said nothing to you, i like you too.”


	3. acer saccharum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> angst i guess. i dunno.  
> colby & beckett  
> Pub. | 21:19 | 08/5/2018

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i haven't been writing much, haven't been doing much either. i dunno.  
> and when it comes to this, i might make it canon in the timeline i might not. i'm too tired to make it up right now.  
> again, it's short and i'm sorry. i'll try and make something worth length soon. idk. 
> 
> joji - yeah right
> 
> for her.

“dear god, i can’t fucking believe you!” beckett threw his hands up to his shoulders, shaking his head at the emotionless man in front of him, “i told you, i would support you on this if it ever happened but you going off on it? with her?” red splotched the freckled face, the easily frustrated man becoming increasingly emotional with the lasting seconds. colby had remained lifeless, the innards of his bowels and esophagus begging for him to respond. but, he couldn’t. it was useless at this point. beckett was done again. colby had broken him again. 

colby was tired and wanted to sleep. the now faded mixture within his body repressing emotions back into a state of drowsiness. bruises from the past unknown hour pained him as he stood. open abrasions from nails below the point in his hair prodded sharply into nerves.

even the tears dripping from the tip of beckett’s nose and now wrinkled chin hurt less than the fact that he fucked up again. his own oath or whatever the fuck he owed to himself was broken by a weak day. he loved beckett, yeah, but to his own self he wanted to prove a point. that he had changed. what a lie. 

beckett’s voice had faded off, the only thing colby being able to focus on was the stripped bed. clothes bundled into the grey covers thrown by the dresser, he laughed as the girl had left her shirt for his. 

“now you’re laughing. still fucked up innit?” beckett’s accent deepened as he had brought colby around by the shoulder, smiling pitifully and sarcastically at the hooded eyes that laid vacant. 

waking up, colby choked and sputtered with a breath. he hadn’t sat up though, simply grabbed his upper chest between blunt nails and tried to stabilize himself. his eyes began to water with sudden air sucking at them. he had felt overly shaky trying to lift himself up and fell back into the scratchy quilt. his heart pounded into his capillaries. 

beckett was gone.

he was alone.


	4. carya ovata

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh, happy birthday earth? basically beckett got a new bitch and they already mackn at a party.   
> hiram & beckett  
> Pub. | 21.40 | 08/16/2018

hiram stubbed the emberless cigarette underneath his boot, flicking the orange filter off of the deck with the toe. the glass door behind him slid quietly open, a tall figure coming out from the brightly lit kitchen with a bottle.

“you should stop smoking those,” the buzzed man said, taking a drink from the top, “they’re terribly unhealthy for you.” he chuckled. 

hiram rolled his eyes while cracking his neck from side to side, “y’know, alcohol isn’t much better.”

“ah, but it ain’t” the man smiled, “it’s just soda. but you still hold a point that it isn’t good.” he had set the bottle down on the thin ice, resting his back against the railing outside. it was cold, almost miserable. the new years party had quickly became a shut in with a sudden freeze after rain. not that the attendees had a problem with that; it was only half past eleven.

“what are you even doing out here? you’re not even wearing a coat you idiot.” the shorter of the two had complained, pulling off his own coat from his arms before being stopped by the other. 

they had raised their hand in protest, and shaken their head, “no, no, i just needed out for a second. it’s too damn stuffy in there.” his face gleamed with a shine of sweat. but something make his face scrunched as he focused his eyes, “wait,” the emerald eyes flexed back, a smile on his face. 

“yes?” hiram questioned, utterly confused. 

“it’s me man, beckett. hiram, right?” beckett’s smile had increased as did hiram’s. 

the ginger laughed and wrapped his arms around broad shoulders “yeah! yeah! you were a boyfriend of colby’s yeah!” the other had returned the laughter and hug.

“actually, i was his fiance. i’d rather not get into that side right now though. some shit happened.” they had pulled away and hiram had ran his skinny fingers through the short buzz. the look of confusion had returned, yet less strained. 

“that’s okay. im glad you’re doing okay.” hiram had dropped his hand from the hair down to beckett’s lightly freckled cheek. the thumb resting on the corner of dark lips. his entire skin tone was lighter than what it had been when hiram was in JROTC.

beckett chuckled, moving his hand from hiram’s back to the ribs, “kinda, but im getting better, how about you? you still making moves?”

“oh no, im actually out. i wasn’t able to pass basic.” he had removed his hand, backing up from beckett slightly, “being tall enough to get in but being this short is a real bitch trying to jump over barriers and hold up heavy stuff with people that are six foot.” he had gestured around with his hands on height, shrugging afterwards.

“well, half of them could legit punt you over the wall so i don’t know how you didn’t pass.” beckett commented, a cheeky smile peaking through.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KsGp64w3XsA - you

hiram had started to fight back, but before he had the chance to his face lit up. the muffled beat coursing through his toes and into his fingers, “come on! it’s such a good song!” he had grabbed beckett’s hand and dragged him back inside. wet shoes at the door, they had twisted through people into the dim living room where the speakers bumped into highschool and college students prepared for midnight.

“dance with me!” hiram had shouted as they found a small opening against the wall. he had held out his hands, motioning for beckett to grab them. 

beckett had replied with a shake of his head and a grin. but reluctantly, he had taken the rather quite soft hands between his own and started to dance. he shifted hips and shoulders from side to side while mouthing the words to a song he barely knew. 

they had both focused on each other, focused on the lyrics. singing to each other without care about messing up starts and ends.

hiram watched as beckett had closed his eyes. he was beautiful. it was true, anyone could tell that the shorter had liked the other. but that olive skinned, tall lanky, addict fuck, colby got in the way. all the time. he would try and try again to get with beckett but it was always. ‘i can’t, busy tonight. sorry.’ always.

the song faded into a break, hiram removing his hands to only bring his arms about beckett’s neck, “do you know the rest?” he had questioned with a cock of the thin eyebrow. calloused hands closed about his waist.

“i’ll be honest with you, i don’t.” beckett shook his head. his heart and stomach constricted with how close hiram had gotten with such a look in the eye. it was feverous. it was new. it was raw. he fucking loved it.

“but you could teach me if you wanted.” 

hiram’s chest flared. he wouldn’t -and even if he wanted to- couldn’t show it, but he was terrified. this wasn’t high school. there wasn’t room to fuck up anymore.

the song had started up again while he moved his hand to the point of beckett’s hairline, his shy smirk never fading, “and i say, do you wanna dance, do you wanna dance, do you wanna dance, dance in the bar in the back of the hall,” he couldn’t help but almost shutting his eyes and drooping his head, fingers playing with short locks of hair, he repeated again getting closer. 

his lips fell open with the last syllable while looking up into wild greens. beckett closed their gap and tightened his grip on the soft fleece. hiram was on his toes, pulling himself up on the sloped shoulders to get closer. although quite literally thoughtless, he thanked god with a smile.

they had rotated so hiram was backed up into the wall. he let hormones and emotions reign his body; everything feeling butterflies and hot caramel while his veins pumped warmth into the equally heated skin. 

“god, what the fuck they teach you at basic?” beckett laughed and pulled away just as hiram pushed a thigh between the other’s.

hiram rolled his eyes, “they told me to shut the fuck up quite often big mouth. you should learn how to do that and keep kissin’.”

“can do.”


	5. acer rebrum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the end. 
> 
> beckett.
> 
> Pub. | 13:03 | 07/10/2018

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so. this is the end. of recent, i haven't been in too good of a place. but with that, i've been reaching a lot of ends myself and it seemed fitting now that this chapter of my life has gotten to one. i wished to make this whole idea longer, with a different ending too. and im sorry that it didn't go that way. 
> 
> please don't worry about me. i'm trying to get help. i've been worse.
> 
> anyways, thank you to those who have read my words. when everything else has gone to shit, writing has been my output. albeit be prose or such like this piece. you power me to be here. to continue. 
> 
> the song for this piece is submerge by movements.  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_phkkSVFVQ

he was so awfully tired. when was the last time he ate dinner? when was the last time he had even a glass of water?

 

even god couldn’t answer that. 

 

it had been this bad before. beckett could admit. but last time, he had someone. there was someone in his corner, stitching up his wounds and wiping off the dried blood. but now, he sat by himself, letting the waves overtake him again and again. submerging himself further into the depths. 

 

his spine curved into the mattress, springs stabbing through the fabric into his thin skin. twisting his head, he looked at the note on his bedside table that read in bold letters, LETTER OF TERMINATION. that was the last time he truly smiled in months. that was the last time colby told him that it would all be okay. they would make it this time.

 

what a fucking joke. he was lied to for years, time and time again by them. subtle promises told at night, only to be broken weeks after. 

 

_ i want to make you fall in love with me again. _

_ i was just not in a good place. _

_ i hurt you so fucking bad and im such shit for doing that. _

_ im sorry.  _

 

he ran the words through his head from the months before. all fucking lies. he fucking hated colby. he fucking hated how they played with words, just to go back on them each time that they decided they didn’t want to be with him again

 

_ sorry bitch, feelings fade. _

_ i don’t feel safe with you. _

 

again and again. they had broken up so many damn times, how could they fade with colby being the one always coming back? 

 

it was irrelevant now. beckett had finished it. he made sure that it was the end. he let loose, swinging and drinking his life away. it was hours before he had fallen asleep again. and barely that when he woke up. there was no use for sleep anymore. it was fruitless to attempt it. 

his friends faded, their relationships and events breaking contact that he once had. 

 

shifting his body, he sat up on the edge of the bed. soaking in what would be the last feeling he had. the grey skies, snow capped mountains, sharp cold. it was peaceful. almost bitter. 

 

this wasn’t romantic. this was pathetic. he was pathetic. he should have a goal, a purpose. but all that he could find when trying was the fact he was a stepping stone. just someone that aided another to their dream. 

 

he was litter. that was all that he was.

 

beckett took a breath and weighed the pistol in his hand. he had never used it before. a gift from his parents as he moved away to the states. the item being a fragment in his mind until the last months.

 

there was no point in stopping himself anymore. 

 

they had taken him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you again.

**Author's Note:**

> both kudos and feedback are immensely appreciated. many of these are done early in the night and i often do not read over it again for spelling and such. please point out my mistakes in grammar and alike. thank you!


End file.
